Image is the front cover of The Real Experts: Readings for Parents of Autistic Children, edited by Michelle Sutton. Front cover blurb reads: “Full of practical advice… a landmark book.” – Steve Silberman.
The Real Experts: Readings for Parents of Autistic Children, a collection of essays written by autistic authors and collected by editor Michelle Sutton, is a challenge for me to review. In my efforts to do so, I read through the entire book twice, once just to enjoy it, and then again to highlight my favorite passages. Even so, when I try to sit down and write a review, all I can seem to come up with a bubble of excitement in my chest and a wordless feeling that is kind of like a whole body fist pump, and then the equivalent of a third grader book review: “This book was AWESOME! You should totally read it!”
But why, Erin, tell us why. Yes, I still remember the format: a brief synopsis, then tell us what you think of it and why.
Michelle Sutton is a writer, neurodiversity rights activist, and mother in a neurodiverse family (for those new to the term, neurodiverse means that within her family are a variety of neurological types). She put this collection together by selecting a group of essays and articles, all written by autistic people, as a guide for parents – and other people who know, love, or work with autistic children – but mainly for the parents.
These are the people (or some of them, anyway) whose work and words have guided her in her own journey of parenting autistic children and now she wants to share them with others. I would not, however, want to limit this book only to people with autistic children in their lives, because in my view, it appeals to an even wider audience: anyone who is interested in learning more about what being autistic means, anyone who has a passion for equality for marginalized people, and anyone who cares about disability rights (and really, shouldn’t that be everyone?) will get a lot from The Real Experts.
The authors in the book (including Sutton herself) are also all people from whom I have learned a lot – about parenting, about being autistic, about activism, about writing, and even about friendship, as some have personally been mentors and friends to me. I can imagine how difficult it was for Sutton to choose only one or two pieces each from the impressive bodies of work these authors have created.
What is covered by The Real Experts, in a purely topical sense, are a range of subjects of interest to everyone with a connection to the autistic community – communication, sensory processing differences, “passing” as neurotypical, ABA therapy, functioning labels, identity first language, disclosure of diagnosis, intersectionality, all kicked off by Nick Walker‘s well known article “What is Autism?” (Link goes to the book’s foreword, republished on his blog.)
Those are all important, useful, even crucial topics, but even those thought provoking questions and answers are only a part of what The Real Experts offers. The rest is the thing that gives me that bubble of excitement that I can’t quite put into words. There is power here. Beauty that almost hurts. Pain that almost heals. Vulnerability so real it leaves you a little breathless. There is love, expanding beyond what the page can contain.
Ultimately, The Real Experts is a book not only about parenting, or autism, or disability, but about humanity. This is a book in which autistic voices call out to the world with strength and clarity: we are here. We are people. We think, feel, love, hurt, and wonder. We thrive when you nurture us, but we will also triumph if you reject us. This is a book that challenges you: we will find our place in the world even if you try to stop us. And it’s a book that invites you: find that place with us.